Ashamed Of My Sin

Posted by Jerry White on Jul 22, 2013

Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

Psalm 51:9 (ESV)


“We are quite assured of the truth that when we are brought into the condition of godly sorrow for sin and deep shame for out backslidings from God, our relapses, and declensions in grace, there is no portion of the sacred Word that can express the deep emotions of our hearts—no language so fitted to clothe the feelings of our souls—as well as this psalm of the royal penitent: ‘Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving-kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight; that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest’ (Ps. 51:1-4). He lays the sacrifice of a broken heart on the altar of God, and seems to exclaim, ‘I am wretched, to have forsaken such a God, to have left such a Father, Savior, and Friend! Has He ever been a wilderness or barren land to me? Never! Has He ever proved unkind, unfaithful, or untrue? Never! Did God not satisfy me, did Jesus not have enough for me, did a throne of grace not make me happy, that I should have turned my back on such a God, should have forsaken such a friend as Christ, and should have slighted the spot where my heavenly Father so often met and communed with me? Lord, great has been my departure, grievous my sin, and now most bitter is my sorrow; here at Thy feet, upon Thine altar, red with the blood of Thine own sin-atoning sacrifice, I lay my poor broken, contrite heart, and beg Thee to accept and heal it.’

Behold, I fall before Thy face;

My only refuge is Thy grace.

No outward forms can make me clean;

The leprosy lies deep within.

This is the holy contrition that the Spirit of God works in the heart of the restored believer. Brought beneath the cross, in sight of the crucified Savior, the heart is broken, the spirit is melted, the eye weeps, the tongue confesses, the bones that were broken rejoice, and the contrite child is clasped in his Father’s forgiving, reconciled embrace once more. ‘He restoreth my soul’ (Ps. 23:3) is his grateful and adoring exclamation. Oh, what a glorious God is ours, and what wretches we are!”

Octavious Winslow (1808-1878)

Evening Thoughts, 372-373

Posted in Repentance

Sacred Contrition

Posted by Jerry White on Jan 24, 2013

“Seek, cherish, and cultivate constantly and habitually a broken heart for sin. Do not think that it is a work which, once done, is to be done no more. Deem it not a primary stage in your spiritual journey, which, once reached, never again occurs in your celestial progress. Oh no! As in the natural life we enter the world weeping, and leave it weeping, so in the spiritual life: we begin it in tears of godly sorrow for sin, and we terminate it in tears of godly sorrow for sin, passing away to that blessed state of sinlessness, where God will wipe away all tears from our eyes. The indwelling of all evil; the polluting nature of the world along which we journey; our constant exposure to temptations of every kind; the many occasions on which we yield to those temptations of every kind; the perpetual developments of sin unseen, unknown, even unsuspected by others; the defilement which attaches itself to all that we put our hands to, even the most spiritual and holy and heavenly; the consciousness of what a holy God must every moment see in us—all these considerations should lead us to cherish that spirit of lowliness and contrition, self-abhorrence and self-renunciation, inward mortification and outward humility of deportment, that belong to and truly prove the existence of the life of God in our souls.

What prompts a constant return to the atoning blood? What endears the Savior who shed that blood? What is it that makes His flesh meat indeed, and His blood drink indeed? What is it that keeps the conscience tender and clean? What enables the believer to walk with God as a dear child? Oh, it is the sacred contrition of the lowly spirit, springing from a view of the cross of Jesus and, through the cross, leading to the heart of God.”

Octavius Winslow (1808-1878)

Evening Thoughts, 30-31


I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin.

Psalm 38:18 (ESV)


Repentance must be ongoing in our lives if we will abide in Christ because we have not yet reached perfect purity in God’s sight. We still fall short of God’s holy standard and therefore constantly need the cleansing of the blood of Jesus Christ. Instant forgiveness and cleansing is ours upon our confessing and forsaking our sins (Proverbs 28:13).

Posted in Repentance

Longing For Renewal

Posted by Jerry White on Jan 3, 2013

I have no wit, no words, no tears;

My heart within me like a stone

Is numb’d too much for hopes or fears;

Look right, look left, I dwell alone;

I lift mine eyes, but dimm’d with grief

No everlasting hills I see;

My life is in the falling leaf:

O Jesus, quicken me.

My life is like a faded leaf,

My harvest dwindled to a husk:

Truly my life is void and brief

And tedious in the barren dusk:

My life is like a frozen thing,

No bud nor greenness can I see:

Yet rise it shall—the sap of Spring;

O Jesus, rise in me.

My life is like a broken bowl,

A broken bowl that cannot hold

One drop of water for my soul

Or cordial in the searching cold;

Cast in the fire the perish’d thing;

Melt and remould it, till it be

A royal cup for Him, my king:

O Jesus, drink of me.

(Christina Rossetti)


Revived passion to love, please, and honor the Lord begins with new repentance.

Posted in Repentance

Cleansed To Be Filled

Posted by Jerry White on Jul 20, 2011

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

Psalm 32:5 (ESV)


“Only one thing prevents Jesus filling our cups as He passes by, and that is sin in one of its thousand forms. The Lord Jesus does not fill dirty cups. Anything that springs from self, however small it may be, is sin. Self-energy or self-complacency in service is sin. Self pity in trials or difficulties, self-seeking in business or Christian work, self-indulgence in one’s spare time, sensitiveness, touchiness, resentment and self-defense when we are hurt or injured by others, self-consciousness, reserve, worry, fear, all spring from self and all are sin and make our cups unclean. But all of them were put into that other cup, which the Lord Jesus shrank from momentarily in Gethsemane, but which He drank to the dregs at Calvary—the cup of our sin. And if we will allow Him to show us what is in our cups and then give it to Him, He will cleanse them in the precious Blood that still flows for sin. That does not mean mere cleansing from the guilt of sin, nor even from the stain of sin—though thank God both of these are true—but from the sin itself, whatever it may be. And as He cleanses our cups, so He fills them to overflowing with His Holy Spirit….

If we are to know continuous Revival, we must learn the way to keep our cups clean. It is never God’s will that a Revival should cease, and be known in history as the Revival of this or that year. When that happens it is due to only one thing—sin, just those little sins that the devil drops into our cup. But if we will go back to Calvary and learn afresh the power of the Blood of Jesus to cleanse moment by moment from the beginnings of sin, then we have learnt the secret of cups constantly cleansed and constantly overflowing. The moment you are conscious of that touch of envy, criticism, irritability, whatever it is—ask Jesus to cover it with His precious Blood and cleanse it away and you will find the reaction gone, your joy and peace restored and your cup running over.”

Roy Hession

The Calvary Road, 18-19

When Peace Rules

Posted by Jerry White on Mar 21, 2011

Let the peace that Christ can give keep on acting as umpire in your hearts.

Colossians 3:15 (Williams Translation)


“A saintly African Christian told a congregation once that, as he was climbing the hill to the meeting, he heard steps behind him. He turned and saw a man carrying a very heavy load up the hill on his back. He was full of sympathy for him and spoke to him. Then he noticed that His hands were scarred, and he realized that it was Jesus. He said to Him, ‘Lord, are you carrying the world’s sins up the hill?’ ‘No,’ said the Lord Jesus, ‘not the world’s sin, just yours!’ As that African simply told the vision God had just given him, the people’s hearts and his heart were broken as they saw their sins at the Cross. Our hearts need to be broken too, and only when they are shall we be willing for the confessions, the apologies, the reconciliations and the restitutions, that are involved in a true repentance of sin. Then when we have been willing to humble ourselves, as the Lord humbled Himself, the dove will return to us.

Sweet messenger of rest! `

Return, O heavenly Dove, return

I hate the sins that made Thee mourn,

And drove Thee from my breast.

One last word. The Dove is the emblem of peace which suggests that if the Blood of Jesus has cleansed us and we are walking with the Lamb in humility, the sign of the Spirit’s presence and fullness will be peace This is indeed to be the test of our walk all the way along. ‘Let the peace of God rule (or arbitrate) in your hearts’ (Col. 3:15). If the Dove ceases to sing in our hearts at any time, if our peace is broken, then it can only be because of sin. In some matter we have departed from the humility of the Lamb. We must ask God to show us what it is, and be quick to repent of it and bring the sin to the Cross. Then the dove will be once again in His rightful place in our hearts and peace with God will be ours.”

Roy Hession

The Calvary Road, 42-43

My Self-esteem or God’s Glory

Posted by Jerry White on Nov 11, 2010

“To paraphrase a writer from a previous century, so often when we sin we are more vexed at the lowering of our self-esteem than we are grieved at God’s dishonor. We are irritated at our lack of self-control in subjecting ourselves to some unworthy habit. We are unable to stand the disappointment of seeing ourselves fail.

God does not honor these self-centered desires. This is one reason we do not experience more of his enabling power in our day-to-day struggles with so-called besetting sins. God does not give us his power so that we might feel good about ourselves; he gives us his power so that we can obey him for his sake, for his glory. It is not wrong to feel good about ourselves, but this should be a byproduct of obedience which is motivated by a desire to please God.”

Jerry Bridges

The Practice of Godliness, 158


Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.

Psalm 51:4 (ESV)


We are born with a sinful self-centered approach to everything in life. It is our fallen nature. Our natural life is oriented around self in every perspective. We naturally view God for what He will do for me. We naturally view sin and guilt for what it does to me. We naturally view others for what they do for me, or to me, or not do for me or to me. When we become followers of Jesus Christ this self-centered perspective does not completely change all at once. We then begin the journey of renovation and transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit and the working of God’s Word through our cooperation by faith and obedience. As we grow in our love for God we see Him as a person who purely loves us and wants to be loved purely by us. We see that our sin affects Him—yea, grieves Him. The more we love Him the more it pains us when we grieve Him. The foremost issue becomes what sin does to my dear loving Father. This makes it very personal between you and Him as if you were looking into His eyes.

Posted in Repentance

Do You Watch With Him?

Posted by Jerry White on Aug 26, 2010

“These three [Peter, James and John] were appointed by our Lord for one purpose—to see His agony. ‘Tarry ye here, and watch with me.’ He did not put them there to go to sleep; He put them there to wait and watch. The twelve disciples were all He had; He knew that one had gone to betray Him, that Peter would shortly deny Him with oaths and curses, and that all of them would forsake Him and flee; but He took these three with him to see the unveiling of His heart—and they slept for their own sorrow.”

Oswald Chambers

If You Will Ask, 19-20


“In essence, there is only one thing God asks of us—that we be men and women of prayer, people for whom God is everything and for whom God is enough. That is the root of peace. We have that peace when the gracious God is all we seek. When we start seeking something besides Him, we lose it.”

Brennan Manning

The Ragamuffin Gospel, 46


Prayer was priority in the life of the Lord Jesus. Prayer was priority in the early church. Prayer was priority in the life of the apostles. Prayer was priority in Paul’s ministry. With Biblical commands like, “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and “continue steadfastly in prayer” (Colossians 4:2), and “praying at all times in the Spirit with all prayer and supplication” (Ephesians 6:18), there comes a compelling question, “Does prayer hold that kind of priority in my life?” Do I watch with Him to see the unveiling of His heart, or do I sleep in my own selfishness?

Posted in Prayer, Repentance

Lord, I Come

Posted by Jerry White on Jun 1, 2009

“Lord, I come to You in Jesus’ name! I have sinned and gone astray like a lost sheep; I have followed the devices of my own heart, I have wandered after other lovers, I have wounded my peace, and grieved Your Spirit; but, behold, I come to You, I fall down at Your feet, I dare not so much as look at You, I blush to lift up my face. Receive me graciously, pardon me freely; so I will loathe myself, hate the sin You pardon, and love and adore and serve the God who forgives and remembers it no more! As one whom his mother comforts, so may You comfort me!”
(Updated and personalized)
Octavius Winslow
Morning Thoughts, August 5 (p. 403)

For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.
Psalm 38:4 (ESV)

The total price for your sin has been paid. “It is finished!” The debt is cancelled. God’s justice was completely satisfied. The pen of your Heavenly Father’s sovereign grace has written with the ink of His own Son’s blood, “You are forgiven for all, and you are Mine forever.” Nothing more can be done. No one can sew back the veil that was torn in two at the entrance to the Holy of Holies. The Father Himself tore it from top to bottom because His Son’s torn flesh and shed blood paid the full price. Bring your sin and shame before Him and He will cleanse your soul and conscience once again, and He will do it as often as you need it. You can rejoice—truly rejoice—in His steadfast love for you. Hate the sin and shame because of the grief it causes your Heavenly Lover; be honest with Him about it; thankfully receive the gift bought by His Son, the Lord Jesus, and rejoice with praise.

Posted in Repentance

True Repentance

Posted by Jerry White on May 25, 2009

“True repentance must include awareness of the magnitude of our spiritual destitution; therefore real repentance must begin with recognition of God’s incomparable and unachievable holiness.
When we do not apprehend the true nature of our wrongdoing, we do not hate it sufficiently to seek its expulsion. True repentance requires grief and remorse that cries out, ‘How could I have done such a thing? Please, God, take the guilt and presence of this evil from my life!’
Without such a loathing of the sin that has been magnified by God’s holiness, not only will we fail to repent, we will not even see our wrong.”
Bryan Chapell
Holiness By Grace, p. 74

O Father, I have sinned! I have done
The thing I thought I never more should do!
My days were set before me, light all through;
But I have made dark—alas, too true!
And drawn dense clouds between me and my Sun.

Septimus Sutton

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret.
2 Corinthians 7:10 (ESV)

Posted in Repentance